Elle and Rob's Cocktails International 2010 Trip Report
Elle and Rob’s Cocktails International, July 22 - July 31 2010, Hedo 3 Trip Report
I’ll start with the short version for those of you who don’t want to read the whole thing.
HOLY-FUCKITY-FUCK-FUCK What a great trip!!!!!!!
OK, Abridged version out of the way, now I can ramble on. Go get a cup of coffee, this is going to take a while.
This was our seventh trip to Hedo. This was also our first year as Hosts. We were Co-Hosts the last two years and learned the ropes from two of the best. Having Graham and VA there as our Co-Hosts, along with all the other helpful members of the group, made this year’s trip go off without a hitch. We could not have dreamt of a better first-time Hosting trip. Thank you all for pitching in, and just being there. It is you, the members, that make the group great. We had one of the greatest groups ever this year.
Travel:
We had an 8 am direct flight from ORD on USA3000 this year. This made travel SO much easier than the multi-hop trips we have done in the past. We were very happy with the airline and the travel day. We had driven to Chicago the day before, so we got to Jamaica without having just finished a long travel day.
We got to MoBay at about 11:30am. There was a huge line at immigration, but just as we got near the ropes, they opened up a new section and had us go straight to it. This put us at the very head of the new line, allowing us to bypass about 500 people waiting in line in front of us. We must have built up some huge Karma points to have gotten away with that!
The bus ride was fun, we got to ride with Doug and Tammy, and we met two wonderful young ladies who were heading to H3 for their first time. We either eased their first time jitters, or made them worse – I am not quite sure which. This year our beer stop was at a gas station that carried Dragon Stout … this travel day just kept getting better. First bodyshots of the week as Elle spilled her beer in her lap :) For the second half of the trip it was pouring down rain. I just love tropical rain in Jamaica.
I will try to do a day by day recount of the week. I may have mixed up which days things really happened though. Everything gets a little foggy after 10 days of partying.
Thursday:
We got to the resort and had my first drink – VX and Diet always tastes fantastic upon arrival to Hedo. Check-in was fast and we were off to our room. While waiting for our luggage to make it, we ran into N/J and J/J. Those welcoming hugs were fantastic. It was 2pm and with all the rain that day there had been a fair amount of drinking going on. We were eager to get our bags, get stripped down, and start working on catching up.
The resort had been pretty dead before we showed up, but as our group started pouring in, things really started to pick up. This was a great day to catch up with friends and start acclimating to being back on the island.
Nice dinner tonight an Pastafari (Martinos) Food was decent, I had the chocolate crunch for desert and got a little more crunch than expected when I bit down on a piece of glass ... no harm done though.
This was Elle and my first night out dancing for a while so we really enjoyed getting to the disco. Elle loved the new pole on the bar, it brings back memories of our first trips to Hedo. I just love to see that woman dance.
Friday:
Apparently the trend from last year where Elle wakes up at 7:30am no matter what time we go to bed is continuing this year. At least we were in the 500 bldg instead of the quad so we were able to take naps. I tried to wear her out so that we can go back to sleep. It did not work – but it sure was fun ;)
We got up and got a workout in, brief, but it helped work out the toxins from the previous evening. Hung out at the pool and relaxed to prepare for the craziness that was going to start the next day. With the help of N/J, we had a great time this afternoon putting together the welcome bags for the Cocktails members – thanks guys!!!
We ate at Munasan with a full table of 8 (yes 8, not 6 ;) ) The food was fabulous!
We had a great time in the Piano bar / Disco / pool tonight. Nothing notable that I am at liberty to divulge at this time. ;)
Saturday:
Up at 7:30 am … again … what is it with this woman? I am beginning to wonder if I have created this monster. I think she is just waking up early to get morning sex. I may have to keep reinforcing this behavior :D We go workout … two days in a row, that has to be some kind of record at Hedo. Then off to the buffet for breakfast. Showered and off to the lobby to greet our Cocktailian family. I look forward to this time all year. It is great to see all our friends getting off the bus, and it is fun to meet the new people for the first time.
The meet and great was a great success this year. We changed things up a little this year and there was a lot of mingling. I think people really got to meet more of their fellow Cocktails International members this year. We had fabulous participation in the forum leading up to the trip, and everyone seemed to really get involved during the week at Hedo.
Time for a nap and then off to dinner. We ate in the buffet tonight. It was … ummm … acceptable. The food this trip varied from acceptable down to “lets wait and hope there is something later”.
Most of the management team is already off on vacation before shutting the resort down for the SuperFun conversion, but in general the resort was still running smoothly. We had food (sometimes for sustenance and not necessarily enjoyment) and generally still had plenty of alcohol.
Sunday:
Today was our quad takeover day. Cocktails International members converged on the quad and had a great afternoon. It was fun to see the quad so full of CTI peeps and we had a great time. In general, we don’t like the quad, but with all our friends there, it was a blast. Elle and VA planned a game that degenerated into just doing shots. Soon I find Elle carrying around the bottle full of shots to be poured, but instead of pouring them, she is just drinking from the bottle. As a sign of chivalry I save her from over-inebriation by taking away the bottle and drinking them myself. A man has to do his part to protect his lovely wife from excessive alcohol consumption.
Today began the week long water fight between Elle and D of K/D. I think by the end of the week it was almost a draw, except for the part where Elle almost drowned. D and I were scheduled to fight later in the week about that – but it is hard to get around to a fight when you are partying so much. So instead, we drank.
We drank more this afternoon than we usually do during the day and had to go sleep it off before dinner. We tried to make reservations for tonight, but the computers were down so it just got written on a scrap of paper. We were supposed to check back in later in the day to make sure it was taken care of. “Checking back later” is a really hard thing to do when you are busy drinking and laughing with friends all day. Needless to say, when we got to the restaurant later that night they did not have a spot for us and we were stuck eating buffet again.
Tonight was another great time in the Piano bar with John being back. We could tell that he missed having us there, he had been getting worn down by the previous slow weeks and was glad to have the place packed with Cocktailians again. Off to the disco for more dancing, then to the hot tub.
Tonight was a fun night in the pool/ hot tub. With the majority of our old and new CTI friends in the house, the party was crazy. I don’t think I could beginning to describe all the fun events, suffice it to say it was one of those wonderful, exciting, memorable nights in the Hedo hot tub. I even learned a few things about Canadia from our Canadian CTI friends. I had no idea that they spoke Scottish in Newfoundland. We had a great time and missed the midnight buffet. After the lesson last year where we had to eat the late night cheese sandwiches, we decided it would just be better to starve.
Monday:
This morning we paid the penalty for drinking all day and night and eating next to nothing. We got to bed at about 6 am and were up at 8 am needing food. I stumbled to the buffet for omelets to bring back to our room.
Today we rested and recovered while chilling in the pool. By night time, we were at it again. The activities of this night are kind of a blur. Not because we drank too much, but just because it was your basic awesome night at Hedo.
Tuesday:
Today was our big Cocktails game. This year we did the scavenger hunt again and it was a big hit. Everyone who participated seemed to have great time – and everyone else got to have a great time watching and drinking. J&J ended up winning it in the end. I still clearly remember J bending over getting her magazine dirty :). Notable mention goes out to J/K, K was really hauling ass around the resort under the strict command of MsJaxin. Extra points for giving the hosts chocolates – those were GOOD. We did learn a valuable lesson about the scavenger hunt though. Never have “virgin” on the same scavenger hunt as “bring the hosts drinks”. The point of the game is for us to sit back and drink while everyone else works, but we had a whole table full of virgin drinks by the end. This did not go at all as planned.
Tonight was PJ night and Cocktails International Glow night. There were more people in our room getting their glow on than we have ever had. We may have hit a record for the most people in one Hedo room period. It was a lot of fun, and as always, very interesting to see some people’s creativity when it comes to glow application.
The Piano bar and Disco where radiant with all the CTI glow – truly a sight.
Wednesday:
Today was N&D’s wedding ceremony. It was a great ceremony and we were honored to attend. The rainclouds rolling in were actually a beautiful backdrop, and the torrential downpour right as the ceremony finished was refreshing. If it is true that rain on your wedding day is good luck, then N/D should be in for a great life together.
G/K showed up today. This was going to be just a short trip for them, but we were SO glad to see them again. The last time we saw them was on a family vacation that they joined us for, it was so much better to get together for an adult vacation.
Our Naughty gift exchange was this afternoon and went very well. There were some new naughty toys that we have never seen before. We even walked away with something that came in handy for my fetish night outfit later.
Elle brought back last year’s fetish night outfit. This is one of my favorites and causes me to look forward to fetish night all year. Another great night in the disco, and several waterslides later we grabbed some food and took it back to our room for later. This worked out very well. Instead of going to the pool and missing the midnight buffet all together, we have started getting food and putting it in our room so that we have something to eat later when we make it back there.
It may have taken us a while to get back to our room, ummm, because it was a long walk … but eventually we got the food delivered and made it to the pool.
Thursday:
Today was Nude Cruise day. The bus left about 1pm and returned about 6:30. The resort made up a bunch of sandwiches for us … scary, nasty, tasteless, soggy, sandwiches … I ate two. This was our first time leaving the resort, and we had a great time. We witnessed a Jamaican riot in Ocho Rios – WOW, that was an experience. We both enjoy being on a boat so we really enjoyed that aspect of it. The booze sucked, but it flowed freely and liberally. We had a great time. I think it would be more fun next year since it leaves directly from H2 so we would save an hour of transit time.
Elle and I renewed our vows on the nude cruise with R officiating. We are not big on ceremonies. It was the shortest vow renewal in history, and it was exactly what we wanted.
We got back drunk, tired, dehydrated, and had a little over an hour to get ready for dinner reservations with T/N. After dinner there was time for tequila shots, some extra fun, and a bunch more alcohol. It was a great night.
Friday:
This morning we paid dearly for yesterday’s activities and lack of water. We usually do a great job with hydration, yesterday not so much. No drinking during the day today. Needed to recover to rally one last time tonight.
Many new people showing up to the resort today, and a few Cocktailians left. It was depressing to see our friends off, and difficult to see there resort changing over. For the first time all week there was a group of the new guys being obnoxious in the nude pool playing volleyball. While this is generally something that happens off and on. We had not run into so much aggressive behavior all week. Several people were nailed with the ball at the far end of the pool. While sitting back enjoying a conversation near the pussy fountain, an errant spiked ball hit Elle in the face. It broke her glasses and gave her a black eye. Being the tiny spitfire that she is and being fed up with the nasty behavior, she threw their ball in to the ocean. Instead of apologies, she got insults. This is one area that we definitely look forward to at H2, where there is no volleyball in the nude pool.
Group awards and dinner tonight was a blast. We really enjoy taking this opportunity to recognize the people who have made the trip memorable for everyone. Thank you all – the group is about the people, and it is all of you who make the group what it is. Congratulations to our 2010 Rookie of the Year – you made us all proud and happy to have you as a new friend.
We had one last (second) dinner with our good friends L/R later tonight. After trying all week to have dinner together, this was our last chance and we enjoyed the opportunity to spend some time with them.
Tonight would have been our last chance for our record waterslide run. No one had the energy. Therefore, the record stands forever at 25 for H3. Next year, we will start a new record for H2.
Saturday:
We said goodbye to the rest of our Cocktails friends today. We transferred over to H2 with Graham and VA to meet with Kevin Levee and the other staff there. We had a great tour and will write up our assessment later. In short, I can not say that one resort is better or worse than the other. They are just different. I feel comfortable that H2 will be a great new location for our group in 2011. Mr. Levee and the staff are excited to help us with this transition. It will be the same group, just a different location.
V/J, your rock is delivered, now to write up your scavenger hunt so you can find it :)
Sunday:
We had a 7:00am bus, 10:35 direct flight to Chicago, then a 7 hour drive. All in all it was a good travel day, just very long.
General Observations:
The food was, ummm, varied. We only ate at Munasan once, but it was very good. Pastafari food varied from acceptable to edible. The buffet was pretty limited this year. The midnight buffet was barely existent. Omelets were good as usual, but we did not have them every day like we used to. There were no patties for the first couple days, but they had them the rest of the week once the group showed up. No Coco Bread at Scotch Bonnet for the entire duration of the trip.
Drinks were plentiful and they rarely ran out of VX. There was a surprisingly good supply of other “top shelf” liquor too. The bars had no banana’s most of the week for dirty banana’s, but there were banana’s on the buffet so we would just grab them there and bring them to the bar with us.
Somehow, we partied and drank late into the night every night for 9 days. I think that is strictly because we were having such a great time.
We never seemed to have time for snorkeling, we did miss that.
Last year there were non-stop A/C problems with different members of the group constantly having issues. There was not a single issue this year.
I can never resist the individual shoutouts:
VA&Graham – You guys were the best Co-Hosts we could have ever asked for. We cannot thank you enough for all the work that you have done to help out. This year’s trip was a blazing success and we could have not done it without you.
L&R – You guys make great co-co-Hosts. Even if it is just a title, with no benefits, we can give you something better – Respect. Thanks for being there to help out, and thanks for being good friends. It is unfortunate that we did not get to spend more time with you, but we will be in Atlanta for New Years!
T&N – T, ummm – Thanks again, and again ;) N, there is no one more interesting to have a conversation with. We have never had such a memorable, and yet undeniably un-Hedo night, as we did this year. It is times like that when you realize who your good friends are. This year we will get together mid year, one way or another. The last year was way too long.
G&K – So glad you made it this year, even though it was a short trip, it was great to see you again on an adult trip instead of a family trip.
T&D – Thanks for all the help again guys. What would we do without an Aunt and Uncle Cocktails.
T&F – I think we got to spend more time with you guys this year than ever in the past. T – heal up that finger!
N&J – It is one of our greatest joys to hang out with you guys. N – you are a rare and special person and it never ceases to amaze me the insight and caring that you have. Thank you again for making our necklaces – they are friggin’ awesome. J – you make us laugh more than any single person ever has. We love that you can open up and be yourselves at Hedo.
J/J – Congratulations on wining the game. I have two lasting memories of J, besides the dirty magazine. They frame our trip as one of the first and last things we saw: Falling over drunk already at 2pm on our first day, and smoking a cigar outside the disco Friday night. Now THAT is a woman.
J/D – It has been WAY too long since we have seen you guys. Glad you made it back this year. J – I hope you don’t kick us out again the next time we jump in your bed naked at 2 am.
A&JW – You guys seemed to be having a great time all week and that fun radiated to all those around you.
V&J - V – I will forever remember all the naked boobie rubs you gave Elle, and I am pretty sure she will remember them even better :). J – you are the PERFECT Rookie of the Year. It was a unanimous vote that you personify the Cocktails International credo of having a great time while enabling others to have a great time around you. Your smile is contagious.
T&D – It was great meeting you guys. T – Elle was proud to give you a crash course in Hedo naked boobie rubs, you catch on fast :) D – it was a great pleasure to meet you and you also were amazing at helping other people have a great time. Always happy and always enjoying life.
M&M – M – Elle really enjoyed your time together in the pool. I was beginning to think I was not going to get her back. M – it was nice to be there to witness your “coming out”, there is only one other man I have seen dress in women’s clothing and wigs that often. You did pull it off well, no wonder the guys hit on you.
J/P – You guys were awesome. We wanted to spend much more time with you guys, but never seemed to find the time. Sad that we missed out on the lemon drop shots Friday night.
H/G – We are glad you joined us officially this year. Always helpful and always cheerful – pure Cocktailians.
L/R – No one would have ever guessed that it was your first trip. You fit in to Hedo and the group like you had been with us all along.
N/D – Thank you for letting us be a part of your wedding. Can’t wait to celebrate your anniversary with you next year.
B/N – We are so glad that you got to join us for your honeymoon after 22 years of marriage. You are such a great couple, we hope to see you again.
D/K – D - Just for looking like Lucy Lawless you deserve kudos. I almost had to go write another fantasy card.
E/TD – So glad you made it with us this year after missing us in 2008. It was great celebrating TD’s birthday, but whatever was in that jug he was drinking was powerful!
J/K – It was great to get to know you guys more this trip than in March 2008. You guys are a Riot.
J/S – It was great having dinner with you guys Wednesday, sorry you got in so late in the week. S – you have got some great stories!
K/D – K – Your name says it all. D – Dude, I guess we still have to fight. Maybe we will get around to it next year.
L/G – You guys know how to do up fetish night right, that was awesome. G – I have never seen that much glitter on a penis before, nor do I ever want to see it again
M/L – As always, it is a great honor and pleasure to have you guys with us. M – so glad to see you still surprising L on the nude cruise. We all love a woman who keeps us on our toes.
M/T – We still have that “Great Performance” award for you, and will always remember it. Great way to “dive in” to Hedo in your first day.
W/T – W – I will never look at a fishing lure again without thinking about your breasts.
I apologize for everyone I missed. As Hosts, with a group of over 100 people, we never seem to be able to spend as much time with people as we would like. The week is a little bit of a blur and it went by too fast. I can’t wait to go back next year to see everyone again. I spend 51 weeks out of the year thinking about all our great times together and looking forward to the next year’s trip. There is no group of people in the world that I can say know us better or make us feel more free to be ourselves than you guys. See you all next year for the 11th annual Cocktails International trip at Hedo 2. Help us find a way to make it even better than this year was.
Rob and Elle
Cocktails International
www.cocktailsintl.com
