H3: Cocktails International Week, August 5-12

Bus: Early morning bus to MBJ to meet friends whose AJ flight was an hour and a half late- no worries. We fended off the taxi drivers/agriculture merchants while we waited. Many were friendly and a couple stayed and chatted with us. Later the Superclubs guy would contract with two of them to drive us over to H3. The road was not bad- construction still in progress of course. Got to drive by the new Bahia resort still in construction- just a couple days after the second collapse- interesting. Seems they are not waiting long enough to let the concrete cure in the 90% humidity. 2nd time in 3 months I guess.

Arrival/Check-in: Since there were only 6 of us in the bus the lobby was no crowded, but it was only like 10 AM so of course the rooms were not ready. One of the couples with us, who had requested a specific room in the quad, was told “Sorry the quad is closed.” Since Sunsplash called immediately after that for a block of rooms, the quad was opened and they got the room they asked for. Due to some organizational problems, we were not given the room we had requested and were supposed to get as cohosts (616) connected with the suit on the end (617). No worries, we got put in the 700 bldg, which is fine, and Rick and Ivy got put in the connecting suite, so that was cool. Waited til about 2 to get in, as expected.

Room 716, Ocean View Nude: As we said, not what we requested, but same distance from the pool- maybe closer, which turned out to be good and bad. Room décor and condition was as expected. The only gripe we had about the room at all was the spottiness of hot water and the fact that our AC took a dump the first night we were there. A call to maintenance produced a worker almost immediately, and the problem was fixed within the hour. The AC was excellent the rest of the week. It really just depends on the time of day you decide to shower as to whether there is enough hot water. Pick a little earlier or later than the rush and you are fine. The neighbors were a little cranky, but no worries. The only thing about the location we hated is discussed later in nude pool.

Food: As expected throughout, though I do not remember the beef being nearly as good in previous visits as we experienced at Pastafari and Munasan. Very tender and normally cooked perfectly during our stay.

Pastafari: The AC was down all week, which made for some very warm and quickly eaten meals and it was a shame because the food quality and preparation was very very good. At times the interior temperature in the evening was easily 20 degrees higher inside than out. Service was great, even with some trainees learning their way.

Munasan: Apparently there has been some chef turnover here and there were only 2 chefs to operate 4 tables, so reservations tightened up a bit. Ate here twice, with typical results. Left with a full belly of great food and needing a nap. Not quite Benihana, but not bad either.

Buffet:
Breakfast: Great, lots of fresh fruit, but by the time I get back to the omelet bar it’s a lot warmer and I usually went with something cool. Kerry swears by scrambled eggs with ham from there, says they are great and had them every morning. They finally got real syrup for the pancakes and french toast, which was nice.

Lunch: Only ate there once for this meal, usually we did the bonnet or nude grill. Food was ok.

Dinner: Very good. Seems to have gotten a little better since last August. The pastry chef could still add a little flavor to the desserts though. With the exception of the cheesecake, fairly bland on the whole.

Nude Grill: Fryer down the 1st 2 days, someone said they had a fire there prior to our arrival. No evidence of it on the building, but that does not mean much. No fries for 2 days no worries. Burgers and nachos always hit the spot, and some in our group loved the crab salad.

Reggae Café/Scotch Bonnet: Excellent as usual. I became a real fan of the jerk chicken this trip. Bar service always seems like you are putting them out making them go upstairs for something, and when there is a trainee working the others seem to slack off. Same complaints as always I suppose.

Bars:

Nude Pool: Serena and Bevlyn Rock! Treat these ladies right as they always seem to work their asses off their whole shift, and they are very nice to boot! The rest of the staff is good too, which is a step up from last summer’s stay. At one point, with trainees, there were 6 people working in that little well down there.

Quad Pool: Sunshine is great as always, the rest a little slower.

Main: Good, usually understaffed in the evenings, but it does get crowded.

Piano: Usually just one or two bartenders here, not enough when it is crowded, but they work had and the drinks were good.

Disco: The music was spotty as usual. Not sure why they do not get the concept- maybe it’s just me- average can’t dance white guy, but if the music is fun then I will go all night. Am I the only one who thinks the kind of music you hear at wedding receptions is the most fun to dance to? They need to have at least one bartender outside fulltime. I understand they would miss the ladies dancing on the bar if they did that, but it is too damn loud inside to order a drink correctly.

Pools: Much much much better than last summer.

Nude: Clear water, ample towels. The plaster is coming up in a couple places, hopefully they will address that soon as there were a few stubbed toes during the week. Plenty of lounges if you did not mind a little shade, but poolside lounges were at a premium. The only complaint I have is about the method with which they chlorinate the pool. The attendant walks around and dumps chlorine pellets into the overflow/drain boxes, from which it dissolves into the water. I will leave it for Dan and Juju’s report to talk about the effects of chlorine poisoning, but as someone in the medical field, this is not exactly the best environment for your skin, lungs, eyes, etc…. Pretty crowded some days. A note to the people who do not appreciate the volleyball games in the nude pool. Sorry if we disturbed you, we surely did not mean to hit you with the ball, or splash you with it- but if it bothers you to the point that you are contemplating violence over it, please listen to your niece/daughter/girlfriend or whatever and take yourself elsewhere.

Quad: Did not spend a whole lot of time there, the first time I got in my skin tingled and started to sting a little from the chlorine content. The water was clear and clean. Towel supply adequate. Average sized crowd.

Prude: LOTS of people in here- more than I have seen previously. Some in suits, some topless- was not sure that was ok but they did it anyway. Think it had something to do with the Sunsplash crowd. Water looked clean and clear, I never got into it.

Grounds: The addition of the gazebo by the watersports pier is nice. We attempted to make use of it no less than 3 times. All 3 times the security guard for that area was either sitting/laying on it (twice), or was lurking in the shadows of the Reggae Café- I guess they are worried about an amphibious assault from Breezes, and need some shore security.

PDA’s: Wow what a difference a year makes!!!! Never heard from the sex police at all, and some late afternoons in the nude pool it got pretty crazy. I have not seen it so uninhibited in the daylight and early evening before. I think this may be due to competition with Desire, to be honest I don’t care why but it was GREAT!

Local Agriculture: Pretty much used out in the open- maybe a little more hidden than at 2. We do not partake, so it is not an issue for us. I will say though that I do not believe the bell staff should be the resort source for any of it, much less the Peruvian marching powder.

Excursion- Canopy Tour: This lists for $76 pp. At $100 pp we think it would still be worth every penny. The staff and riggers were knowledgeable, friendly, and accommodating. We will definitely use Chukka Cove for our excursions again next time, and HIGHLY recommend the Canopy tour to all.

People: The Cocktails International Group, while smaller than in years past- ROCKED IT! No problems to note, and everyone seemed to get along famously. There have been segmented groups before- some in the quad, some in the nude pool, but people seemed to move back and forth on a regular basis and as co-hosts we were thrilled with the whole group. We are already counting down to next year’s trip.

Flight back: No problems- though we understand some members of our group had a horrible time and were apparently lied to by the AJ airport staff about the delays.

To our Cocktails Friends- thanks for a great trip. You Bitches made it awesome. I wish we had gotten to know some of you a lot more than we did, but that just means we have to come back next year to do that. Counting down the days!

Nick and Kerry, Cocktails International
www.themartiniglass.com