Hedo Amigos ~ March 15-24, 2013
This was our 16th trip to Jamaica, 14th to a Hedo, 5th to Hedo II, 7th as Hedo Amigos...and it was Fucking Awesome!
Been home two full weeks now and I guess this is the sweet spot to write a trip report, long enough that the fog has lifted from a week of partying my ass off but not too far into the future that I am forgetting things...well at least the things that I can remember. It has been tough being home, not sure I have ever had a case of DIF this bad. We were not planning another trip back to JA/Hedo in 2013 and that changed (in my mind) the day before we left. As soon as we got home we rearranged our schedules, canceled some things, got the grandparents to agree to watch the kids and by Wednesday had plans to return 10/8 to 10/14!! The thought of 350+ days till our return just was not sitting very well with me! It really was a great trip, even though I managed to get sick for a couple of days and the weather was not as nice as it usually is in March...damn, if it didn’t suck!!!
Getting There:
We had a 5:30 am flight from RDU that went thru CLT to MBJ. Having such an early flight is great because it gets you on The Rock before 10:00 am...the bad part is you are up at 3:00 in the morning and trying to get some sleep the night before is about impossible as neekid people are dancing around in your head!! Pretty sure it is the only time of year I feel like a kid on Christmas Eve. I suffer from “first day happies” anyway, so the combo of hardly any sleep, bus ride Stubbies, too giddy to eat, and a bottomless 24 oz.Tervis Tumbler had me knocked out before 7:00 pm and missing the Friday Lobsterfest and the Amigos White Trash Bash Theme Night. Anyway our flights were awesome and getting through immigration and customs was cake. I shit you not, our luggage was the first ones off the carousel...living the good life. Our transportation, Rocky Tours, was waiting there for us as we walked out the terminal doors into a hot, muggy, overcast...and beautiful Jamaica. Rocky’s Tours is a top notch outfit and since Hedo is no longer providing transportation I would recommend Rocky to anyone. We had to wait a bit for others in our group to land, but we did in style with a cooler of 1 1/2 cases of semi-iced down Red Stripe’s that I had arranged for Rocky to bring us. Everyone’s flights arrived on time and soon the 12 of us were heading down the road to Negril and Hedo. Not sure on how long it took us to get there, I was having too much fun on the bus to notice! Here is Rocky’s info, great guy and will take care of all your transportation needs while in Jamaica. http://www.rockystaxiandtourservice.com/
The New Hedo:
So just before our trip all sorts of things were happening at Hedo and it had me a little worried about what we might find. First the news came that the new owners had taken the “keys” of the place into their possession. Next came word of the mass firings (which was actually not that many people and they were just not re-hired) and finally we heard that Fifty (who I have known since he started at Hedo III) was leaving to be with his family and pursue other opportunities. Got to tell you I was a little worried of what to expect once we got on property. Those concerns, did not last very long as everything was bitchin in Hedo Land!
We had a nice reception of early Amigos waiting for us in the lobby, the perma-grin was beaming as we were greeted by old...and new friends! Rusheen Harris, who was our Sales Coordinator contact for the Amigos greeted us as we got off the bus. She is now the Front Desk Manager and personally checked us in, which was a breeze...we had our room (2232 ~ H Block) within minutes. Cecil had our bags loaded up and we were off to our room after stopping by the main bar for my first of many daily breakfast Dirty Bananas. We have never stayed in H-Block before and we loved the location. Perfectly situated between the nude pool and the main dining room. I loved that I could walk from our room on the second story all the way to the nude pool under cover...which came in handy a couple of days as we had more rain this week than in the previous six March trips combined. Anyway, Cecil led us into our room and the first thing I noticed was how clean it was and how good it smelled. Now, I have never had a “dirty” room at Hedo...but this trip our room was uber hospital clean!! Throughout the week we saw lots of cleaning and scrubbing going on all over the resort...maybe I was looking for it this trip but it seemed that I saw things being cleaned that I had never witnessed before. It was obvious early on that the new management was making some changes for the better!
The staff seemed extra happy this trip, not that they were ever grumpy, but my guess is from what had happened the week before, the ones that remained employed were pretty happy about still having a job. Even Scumba and Delroy seemed in better spirits than I had witnessed on previous trips. There are a number of new bartenders working all over the resort. Most of them were wearing White Shirts, not sure if that is a probationary thing or they just did not have uniforms for them yet but it was noticeable who the noobies were. They all seem to be hustling and doing a great job and going the extra mile to make the guests happy. Speaking of bars they were well stocked this trip compared to last October. Stoli, Absolut, Jack Daniels, Jim Beam, Jose Cuervo, Crown Royal and even Jagermeister were in good supply all week long just to name a few. They did run out of VX for a couple of days, but that was the only thing that I noticed that was in short supply. Our first few days the resort was at 100% occupancy and I never noticed a lack in service, in fact the service seemed better than ever. (Especially down at the nude pool grill where getting your food was quicker than I ever remembered.) Wait times at the nude and main bars depended on how busy they were...they did seem to adjust the number of bartenders needed with the crowd size. At one time during our Blow Out Party they had 5 bartenders (Serena included) making drinks! The only negatives I can mention during my stay was that first weekend bath towels were pretty hard to come by...and we did have a couple of days without hot water.
I need to thank Delano Miller who is the Sales Coordinator and Nichel “Nick” Lindsay who is the Entertainment Coordinator...they both went out of their way to make sure that all our special events went off without a hitch...which they did. Also a shout out to Winston and Serena who were great all week long, partied with us and made things so much fun. Serena has done a great job since coming to Hedo II...I have known her since 2001 when she started as a bartender at Hedo III and she is the best! I know Winston was missing Fifty...but he was absolutely great all week long and I love that kid. The only other EC that I recognized was Hennesy...but her hair is totally different and it took me a couple of days to realize who she was. The EC’s seem much more engaged, they are down at the nude pool every day at 11:00 am and actually did the things that were on the schedule...reminded me of the times we spent at Hedo III.
I briefly talked with Kevin Levee and I got to meet Jon Gross who is one of the new owners. After talking with them I cannot wait to see some of the changes that they have planned. I am not going to repeat what I was told, but if they do what they want to do there are some exciting changes coming to the resort. I can tell you that we did see three rooms that were being completely gutted...and that they were doing so for different designers to come in and evaluate the space. Good things are coming...Hedo did not deteriorate overnight and they are not going to fix it overnight either. After hearing their plans...it is going to be good and we have a lot to look forward too!
The Food:
I love the food at Hedo...always have. One thing that tweaks me is to hear someone bitching about it as I cannot understand someone NOT finding something to eat that makes them happy. Anyways maybe I am pretty simple but I was happy again with what I was eating all week...which basically consisted of a huge BLT sandwich with a side of sausage, grits and corn beef hash for breakfast each morning and nude grill food (Jerk Chicken, Cheese Burgers, Grilled Cheese/Ham and Fries) for lunch each day. I did venture to the Main Dining Room twice for lunch and one day had a pasta bowl and the other had some homemade tortilla chips and guacamole and other mexican fare...both lunches were very good. I only ate dinner 4 times at the resort during the week and each time was excellent. Martinos (2X) and Munasan (1X) were both phenomenal...best ever!!! I did make my last Friday night lobsterfest and it was good but I was a little disappointed there was no Mac & Cheese to go with my tails! I ate off property three times during the week. Once for breakfast at Cafe Goa...awesome omelets and Bloody Mary’s!! Also ate dinner one night at 3 Dives and one night at a place called Sunset After Dark. Both excellent meals...I love Hedo but I also love to get off property and see/taste/smell/drink in the “Real” Negril.
The Hedo Amigos:
What I can say about the Amigos without sounding like a braggart. Absolutely some of the best people in the world. Not sure how you assemble 160+ people that are all cool as fuck...but we do year after year! I am sure everyone feels that way about the people they meet and hang out with at Hedo, and we probably are all correct as generally the people that go to Hedo are awesome to start with. I am no different and I think that the Amigos, some whom I have known for over seven years now, are the best in the world. As one of the organizers for the Amigos I get quite a few “Thank You’s” during the week. My response has always been “No, thank you!” I have always said that if the Amigos consisted of 160 assholes we would be no fun at all...and we are polar opposites from that. We had a number of special events during the week and a couple of our own theme nights where we had tons of participation. We were lucky enough to work with our preferred travel agent and the resort to be able to give away 4, one night comps for best costume for the nights of White Trash Bash, ABC (Anything But Clothes), St. Patty’s Day and RGB (Rave/Glow/Blinky). The costumes were so amazing and every night it was so hard to pick a winner. Case in point on ABC night, how do you make a decision between a bikini made of Wine Corks and one made of Bacon...real Bacon?? (Wine corks won out narrowly) Our Welcome Party (which was open to everyone at the resort) on Sunday Night in the Disco was packed....not sure when was the last time the Disco at H2 has had that many people in it for that long. Since it was St. Patty’s day we brought in some cases of local brewed Guinness and attempted some Irish Car Bombs...which do not work at all if you do not have shot glass to drop into the beer. (We will get that right in 2014!) We ended the night with a Pole Dancing competition....not even sure who it was that won as she was not with the Amigos but I hope she is enjoying the WeVibe3...and damn did she earn it!! Some other events throughout the week were our Blackout Bingo game, which is a great way for the returners to meet the noobies and vice-versa, Dirty Amigo (Erotic Gift Exchange) and the Beer Pong Tournament where the winners (two years in a row) won 3 Free Nights!! The piece de resistance is our Friday Blowout Party. I cannot explain it to you...best analogy is to go watch Project X and LMFAO’s Shots video at the Playboy Mansion...combine the two, throw in a little more awesomeness, turn it up to 11...and that is what an Amigo Blowout party is like. This is the best pool party at Hedo hands down...too many unsolicited comments from staff and guests to make me feel otherwise. Just as the tourism board says about Jamaica....”Once you go....you’ll know!” What I love about it is not only are we having a ridiculous time, but the staff has a blast too, which is apparent from the smiles on their faces and the number of them in the pool with us. We had a Wet TShirt contest pool side that included 12 lovely ladies and our very own sexy French Canadian came home with the comp night! Thanks to all the Amigos, other guests, Winston, EC’s, Bartenders, Serena and all the pool toys and other party shit that everyone brought with them to make it such an awesome day!!! As always I apologize to the watersports guys for the condition we leave the pool in....which is definitely “Rode hard and put away wet!” We did curtail the amount of Rum Creme spilled into the pool this year as we switched to Alcohol Infused Whipped Cream....that shit is awesome and stays in place better!!
Our TA ~ Wild Women Vacations:
We were lucky enough to team up with WWV 5 years ago while at Hedo III...and it is a killer mashup of spring break debauchery and some sexy evening events. There is something for everyone during the week!! WWV hosts some hot, intimate private events at the Spa twice during the week where the highlight is Tuesday night when the sybian fires up. For those who are more on the shy side they host private sybian sessions on Wednesday afternoon...which this year there was a line longer than a typical day at the DMV. They also have a Meet and Greet Sunday evening and a Lewd Pool Party Monday night where DJ Sandman (Las Vegas DJ that WWV brings to the resort) rocks the house. This year the Lewd Pool Party was rained out so it moved to the Disco where the entire resort got to enjoy Sandman...and for the second night in a row the Disco was pumping elbows to assholes. They also include the whole resort with two events, Monday’s Prude Pool Nude Party and Wednesday Nights Rave under the stars. Mondays pool party included a waterslide orgasm contest and a Magic Mike Striptease...which was hilarious to watch and the winners received comp nights!. But Wednesday’s Rave under the Stars was my favorite night of the week, At that time I probably had a 102* temperature but was not going to miss it for the world. I loaded myself up on Red Wine, Rum and some Jenny’s Brownies and was good to go. You know you are throwing a party when Sandals calls and tells you to turn the music down...which we finally did around 3:00 am. DJ sandman had the place jumping...there was even people sneaking over from Sandals to see what the hell was going on, no wonder they complained, they were losing all their customers! WWV is the best Hedonism TA out there, not only do they know how to throw a party and a great week, they have awesome group rates and are on property to handle any problems that you might have. Here is there info....call them today and book one of the many weeks that they do at Hedo each year...but for the best one, make it an Amigo trip! http://www.wildwomenvacations.com/
One Love Bus Pub Crawl:
I know this is a Hedo trip report but I have to mention the One Love Bus Pub Crawl. The Amigos did two of these, one on Tuesday and one on Thursday. Each day we filled the 19 seat bus with over 40 people and had a great afternoon on the West End of Negril. We walked to Boardwalk Village (place right next to Sandals) as our first stop and was then picked up by Lenbert, who operates the Love Bus. The Love Bus cost nothing...you just buy what you want at each stop and tip Lenbert when you are done. On Thursday we hit 7 bars over a 3 hour span which included Sunset After Dark, On the Rocks, Jenny’s, No Limit Bar, Xtabi, Push Cart and finally landed at Sir D’s (aka Firewater Love Nest) for the most amazing sunset. Lenbert then dropped off who wanted to have dinner back at Sunset After Dark and took the rest back to Hedo. This trip is a great way to see the West End and Negril...not the tourist traps of Margaritaville and Rick’s, but some really cool places run by local Jamaicans. I know sand gravity can be a motherfucker...but Negril is so cool you owe it to yourself to get off property at least once while there...and this trip is the way to do it. If you are interested in taking the One Love Bus Pub Crawl, Lenbert runs them every Wednesday and Friday, but if you have 10 or more people he will do them any day of the week. He also will pick you up directly at Hedo, we just added the Boardwalk village as an extra stop. Here is his email if you are interested. bananaznegril@hotmail.com
Getting Home:
We left Hedo on Saturday but didn’t leave the island until Sunday morning. I love doing it this way as you never feel rushed...although no matter how you do it, it is hard to go home. Doing it this way we are able to get up, eat breakfast and then hit Moon Hill for the 9:00, 10:00 and 11:00 o’clock buses and say our goodbye’s to so many friends. Back to the room to pack, get the bags picked up, checkout by noon. We then have 5 hours to chill out a final time in the nude pool and reflect on the week...give my Tervis and liver one final workout and eat my last plate of Jerk Chicken. With remnants of the Blowout Party all around the pool, it is a nice quiet day...love it! Around 4:00 I headed down to the ocean and just planted my butt in the Negril sand for the last time....toes in the water, ass in the sand...last chance to rock out with my cock out. That is when, as I was looking across long bay at Negril’s 7 Mile Beach and the cliffs of the West End, I decided it was not going to be 51 weeks till I returned. Rocky was right on time at 5:00 pm and we took the ride back to Montego Bay for a night at The Wexford Hotel located on the Hip Strip. Dinner at Margaritaville with our good friends and co-hosts and an early night as I was wore the fuck out...still a little sick and going through Rum/Vodka/Red Stripe withdrawals. We had a 9:00 am flight and were driven to MBJ by the included shuttle that The Wexford provides at 7:00 am. Nice thing about early flight is no lines anywhere at the airport. We were through ticketing/immigration/security and in the Terminal to shop by 7:27....22 minutes from hotel to shopping. Flights home were rough turbulence wise, but on time and mostly uneventful. I was greeted in Raleigh (wearing shorts and flip-flops) to rainy, 38* weather. Reality does suck!!!
Final Thoughts:
So that is my story and I am sticking to it...it was an incredible week and I cannot believe how fast it flew by. These trips I think about all year and the anticipation is brutal leading up to them, and in a blink of an eye they are done...but oh the memories they create. Hope you enjoyed just a fraction of what I was able to put down in print. Want to thank my smoking hot wife, the one that adorns my avatar here, for putting up with my shit all year and my close to obsessive planning and mental behavior when it comes to Jamaica, Negril, Hedo and the Amigos. I have it bad....and probably always will. To my buddy CrazyRed and his wife for being the co-hosts for the Amigo’s as I could not do it without them. Also to all the Amigos that put in time and donations to make the week what it is...you guys make the trip! To the many noobies we had this year...I told you it wouldn’t suck!! You are now part of an ever growing family and I hope you can make many trips in the future. To everyone at the resort whose energy, laughs and Hedo Spirit made the week what it was, which was amazing. Finally to you Amigos who could not make it this year for a number of reasons, here is to having everything fall your way in 2014 and you once again joining us in paradise...your presence was missed!
Till next time....catch you at Delroy’s and we can get stupid together all over again!
Face Down and Bottoms Up!
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Originally Posted by MsPete
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