I won't bother all of you on the transportation specifics. We all know air travel is pure hell and with the exception of a 1st class upgrade on one of our legs of travel, this was no exception. Flying for 12 hours overnight cramped into sardine like seats next to a bathroom that was in constant use all night (and OMG those smells emanating from the bathroom) was not fun. But that is the only part of our trip we did not like!
This being our virgin trip, we were both a bit nervous as to what we would find and how we would like it. We arrived mid afternoon on a Sunday and check-in was a breeze. First thing I spot in the lobby is a rather large (OK extremely large) breasted woman wearing a see-through fishnet top doing jumping jacks. I can't believe she hasn't knocked herself out yet! I quickly looked at my wife to see her response. She is giggling a bit. So far so good I think to myself!
Off to our rooms like 2 zombies. Walking through the buffet area to our room I spot a few more "sights" to see. All we wanted was a shower and a cold drink since we had been up for 36 hours. Got to our room OVP and the room really was not as bad as I had been hearing. No bugs, no dripping water, no moldy smell and the A/C was working overtime! Must of been 60 degrees in the room when we arrived. I am thinking to myself, so far so good.
The wife comments on the room and says, it really is not that bad and heads for the shower. Oh Oh I think. I remembered reading all of the horror stories about the water pressure and the temperature fluctuations. This could set the tone for our vacation if my wife is scolded on day one! She retreats from the shower after about 10 mins and says, wow that was nice! 6 different jets in the shower even! So far this has gone as well as I could hope! I take my shower and confirm that, yes they are nice. 6 jets will get you clean in places you didn't know you were dirty.
We head to the Prude Beach bar and ask Paulette to make us something fruity. She makes us a couple of "Caribbean Joys" and we sit and enjoy these drinks along with the nice view from the Prude beach. We both feel like we are in heaven.
The next morning we headed to the Prude beach where the wifey proceeded to immediately take her top off. All around us were completely naked or topless sun bathers. On the prude beach! I knew going into this vacation, getting the wife over the the nude side was gonna be tough. It looks like the nude side came to us! I immediately drop my swimsuit and settle in for a morning of sun and beverage. Within 1 hour, the wife had also gone completely nude. I was in Paradise. Here I am, out on my floatie, bare ass nude, cold drink in my hand and feeling the warm sun on my nether regions. What a feeling! I am still astounded that the Prude Beach was as nude as it was. The only thing I can think of is the Nude side was full and spilled over to the Prude Beach. I did hear that the resort was completely full this week. It was not uncommon at all to see nudies walking everywhere in the resort including to and from the prude side rooms.
The next 6 days were spent just like the first, with a couple of snorkeling trips (Awesome!) and an afternoon trip to Margaritaville (Fun) and Ricks Cafe(fun but expensive). At night we partied with our new found friends from all over the USA, Canada and UK. Absolutely great people all of them. We hit the Piano bar, Disco (OMG loud!) nearly every night. Even the nude Hot tub one night. Below are the highlights of our trip:
Shuttle ride
Yes its true what you here. This is truly an adventure. After about a 5 min wait in the Superclubs lounge, we were off! The driver asks a full bus load where everyone is going and only 4 of us say Hedo. Oh, Mon, you going to the Zoo! And then laughs! Of course this was followed by others asking what he is talking about. In between dodging pedestrians, goats and other passing cars we arrived safe at our Red Stripe stop. 15 mins later we are back on the road. I asked the driver if he knew he was driving on the wrong side of the road and he offered to switch sides, but I declined.
Rooms
Yes thats right! I said Rooms! Ours was everything we needed. Great A/C, Showers and bed. Always had fresh towels and sheets (if we requested) and on Thursday had the sheets left for the Toga that didn't happen. Remote on the TV didn't work but who cares?
Food
Buffet was generally pretty good. I did get tired of the food there after a week though. The omelet bar was excellent and ate those every morning. Munasan was excellent and Pastafari was outstanding. Make sure you make reservations for Pastafari when you arrive. We didn't and only got to eat there once. Reggae cafe was great for Jerk chicken and shrimp. Hamburgers ( I call them squish burgers) were gross, although the Hamburgers in the Buffet at midnight were great. Maybe I had more alcohol in me then? Also stay away from the Hot Dogs in the buffet. Not sure if those were meat or Play Doh. They are the strangest shade of red.
Facilities
Overall great. I did wonder why the waterslide was closed nearly the whole week we were there. I saw it open twice. Also the pool at the Prude beach bar is a waste. It is dirty and should either be used or eliminated in favor of another guest feature. A swim up bar here would be a nice addition. It appears there used to be one. The beaches both nude and Prude are great. This is the reason we picked 2 over 3. No rocks and sand as soft as a baby's butt. Plus you can walk for miles if you wish through other resorts. Both nude and prude pools were always busy and very nice.
PDA's
Saw some but not many. Wasn't our scene to watch others getting it on. We did see a BJ in the disco as a guy was on the stripper pole while his lady friend tried to down his.
Entertainment
E/C crew was a little disorganized and at times it appeared as the shows were being put on by a high school class. Winston was excellent and has a great voice. He is very talented. Piano Bar was fun fun fun! Disco was not real busy most nights we were there but it is so loud I can understand why. Also after 10 or 15 drinks, those strobe lights are very annoying. Overall the activity list they handed out when we checked in was useless. They didn't follow it. Pay attention to the activity boards in the buffet area. They give an accurate list of whats going on for that day.
Staff
Absolutely great. They are the nicest people anywhere we have ever gone. Always there to serve with a smile.
Drinks
What can I say? All inclusive means anything you can dream up they will make. On several occasions, we grabbed a bottle of wine or something for the table for dinner. They never gave it another thought. Make sure you drink a lot of water. You will need it!
Weather
Awesome day and night!
People
I asked many guests what brings them to Hedo. Everyone of them said its the people. After spending 7 nights there and having the time of our lives with some of the nicest people around, I completely get it now. I have never laughed so hard in such a long time. We did have 2 slimy wally's present. 1 tried to videotape the nude beach and was nearly pummeled to death. WTF was he thinking?
Final Thoughts
When my wife and I started looking at going to Hedo nearly a year ago, we read everything we could on the subject to make sure it was for us. Even after being fairly confident that we made the right decision, there was still doubt in the back of our minds that we did the right thing. After 1 hour we both decided we did the right thing. After 1 hour it wasn't strange to see naked people anymore. After 1 hour we both were able to completely relax. Something we haven't ever been able to do before on any previous vacation. It was literally the best and most relaxing vacation ever. Absolute complete relaxation! Our last day, we both were nearly brought to tears saying goodbye to all of our new friends. It is really hard to explain the feeling. It was like we had known these people for years. Now I understand when people refer to Hedo as "home".
We are already planning our next trip. It can't come soon enough!
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