I am going to just ramble on- so please forgive....
and please forgive my typoese, its the only way I speak! Its also way too long, but oh well...
Airport: After the 10 hour flight from Manchester England we were overhoyed to land- until WHOMP the hot air hit us. Scrambling out of our jumpers (sweaters) we looked at each other and smiled... it was freezing rain back home.
The little tiny lady with matching wheelchair who was sent to carry my economy sized booty to my own electric chair (hopefully) awaiting my arrival looked too small to push the chair WITHOUT me, but in reality, she was superwoman in plaits. She bypassed the queues, and it was funny to hear some dude saying "Look out for my aunitie! watch out for my aunite! Wheelchainr coming through!" I am white, he wasn't (Does my dad know about that side of the family???) but he hung right behind us until immigration and blended in. I had never been grateful to be disabled until I saw the queue we bypassed. I am so impressed at the care we received from that little lady- and she wouldnt take a dollar.
Immigration said "Get some sunshine!" with a smile. Baggage- I felt SO bad- there was one bag with their clohtes all over the place- kept trying to pick it all up and reunite it, but people thought I was snithcing things I think, so I stopped. Well, really I stopped when the dirty undies came by, then my caring nature was overruled and I decdied to stop noticing all the clothes.
Our bags finally came, and my wheelchair made it in good form (sigh of relief). Went to customs... saw all those bags being searched. What do people try to sneak INTO Jamaica??? Anyway, a copuple words between our escort and the official and we were off into the airport. Was given cards of taxi drivers who had wheelchair cars.
Transfers: Got to Hedo area, where we got water and others got red-stripe. DOnt know why- maybe I looked like I would be a dangerous drunk or something- they said we would go on the minibus, but nmy wheelchair wouldnt fit, so they decided they would need to send us in a chair van- something my travel agent had already worked out suppossedly.
Rule 1: Whatever your travel agent says they spoke to hedo about, speak to hedo about it yourself to make sure. We found this true over and over.
We got a wheelchair van and were sent by ourselves to the resort- even though there was room for more, people rejected our offer of a ride- I think they thought I was scamming them or somehting, but at least I tried!
Arrival: Got there too early for dinner... they brought us to the first room, but the wheelchair didnt have the right space to get in because the "front door" landing was too small. They brought me to three or four other quad pool room,s and we found one that was perfect- 112- it has a very small lip to get into the room. When they brought our cases, I mentioned hubby was diabetic, and POOF food arrived to tide us over until dinner. It was just sandwiches, but we felt great about it!
KNew I wanted to do face/ body painting, so I asked for Nic, but Spike was covering. Spoke to him about it, and he promised to promote the painting.
We met some lovely people that first night- but I was so sleepy they all fell out of my brain by the next day.
Electrcian: The next day we were still jet lagged, but the sun called us out fo the room- and we went to tour around. One concern was that my speedbuggy (wheelchair) wasn't charging... an electrician looked at the charger, thought it might be the plug, cleaned it, and told us to call again if it didn't work. Let it charge overnight- stilll didn't work- panic set in- two weeks with no wheels wouldn't be much of a holiday! Christoper S the electrician came over, and set about taking apart the air conditioner to get 220... and he put in a British style 220 plug so I could charge my W/chair... and he refused a large tip saying that all inclusive meant all inclusive. What a man.
Room: the room ahs two twins joined for a king, lots of storage, plenty of hangers, and a nice bath which if you wait too long will only have cold water. The jacuzzi was FAB! and we loved the way you can look out on the world from the tub. the beds were comfy. They kept leaving "is everything ok?" messages on the phone until we asked them ro stop.
The clock radios are impossible to set unless you have a masters degree in engineering, so we just unplugged ours. Rather than have it go off and be an anonymous irritant, we just disarmed it. Too many others just let it ring.`
Tipping: Doc Gavin, the attendant at the Quad, came to greet us. He saw the chair and from that moment he got our pool beds ready- with towles, mats, and even flowers. He was lovely, but hinted very heavily about tips. I told him I would not endanger his job, but could send hm seomthing. He said that was okay. The rules on tipping: they can hint, but if they SAY tip or money, they can get fired. They are allowed to take ITEMS, but not cash. You can ask for and they will happily give you their address, but do NOT give them cash as they ARE searched. If you want to do an employee a favour, write their name down on the card you fill out when you leave- those who are mentioned with a sensible reason get put into drawings, win prizes like big tellies, money, etc. SO keep track of names of people who make a difference. If you tip, all it does is ruin it for others because those who dont tip might not get the same attention, and if they complain, the staff person gets booted.
Our housekeeper hint very heavily for tips- but there was such a problem with towels, sheets and soap that we wouldnt have tipped anyway- it was always late in evening when we were in the tub that she would knock and hand us a stack of towels. We wound up complaining because she was so aggressive, and she lied with her hand on her heart and with great big tears about what she said. Be careful with the housekeepers. Most of them are lovely, honest and kind people. A couple aren't, so be careful. I hated complaining, but she wouldn;t let me move and was very intimidating! I wish the resort wouldtell people how they DO reward staff.
SPA_ spend £26 on 8 braids. Wanted more, but was told my hair was too thin for the long braids, so even though I was charged for long braids, I didn't get them. It ook 5 minutes ot get the braids done, but they were nice so I didn't complain. Be VERY specific abour what you want, and say something if you dont get it. Aretha was absoltuely lovely in the spa, and fixed my braids for me without charge.
Beach towels: Speaking of towels- the beach towels... people hoard them, then there are none to wash (the laundry is at another resort, and the only send the towels when there is a full load), so there are none to give out. If you cant find one, ask and they will find one, but please dont keep 2-3 a person in your room. If you hoard them, there wont be clean ones for you or others. If you have a sunbed, mat or towel, leave something personal too or it will get taken. If you are really there, then leaving something of yours shouldnt be a problem, yeah>? People reserved their beds at the nude pool 12 hours in advance then never showed- thats simply not fair. ON the other hand, everyone was great at helping find available beds.
Nude pool! small, too small, but lovely. The view! The hot tub- especially at night when you could see the vapour (steam???) off the wtaer, it felt hot enough to be people soup... but without unsavoury bits that we could see. Pools were cleaned frequently as were hottubs. The evenings werent very exciting wefound... I was the only person paying any physical attention to anyone- to my hubby one night, and the next day I heard a couple comments from epople about "Well YOU TWO had a good time..." we were discreet, but I just had ta!
The more discreet areas- the nude beach and those beds were a bit more uhm... being used for attention of the intimate kind, we found.
Poeple staying poolside would stand in the windows and stroke their show of appreciation... that was a bit off putting, until you pointed to them and waved, which I think ruined their voyeurism a bit and they closed the shutters. Most of the way.
There were frequent clothed spectators at night- if security was chatting, they wouldnt notice and the clothed ones would stare. Peple pretty much ignore them.
Quad hottube: At the quad pool, the hottub, there were freqent issues with people getting veyr, very drunk, getting their volume control stuck on high, then entertaining the entire quad with their schrreching laughter at 4am. I asked very nicely one night if they could just please be a little more quiet and the reply was "I don;t see any hours posted! There is no closing time here baby!" and was tortured for days - every time I came out, I heard- Oh SHHHH- Are we being too loud for ya?????
Until one of the plonkers wanted a painted rock. After that it stopped. Oh, and when I went and sang "Oh what a beautiful morning " in front of a room where one of the revelleres/torturers was up until 7am. She came out, saying "Can you be a bit more quiet" except less civilly, and I said "I don;t see any hours posted! There is no closing time here baby!" After that, we got a few apologies and although things were still loud, they werent quite so bad. Its a real shame- people for the most part were lovely, but the quad is built so that the noise is amplified.
Painted rocks- I went to Ocho Rios- ($15 minimum 4 people) so I could find acrylic paint. I came armed with body, face and tattoo paint, but not acryclics, so I asked a tht craft market and was told to go to Otto's Auto Body- the taxu drivder took em tehre (Dwayne was lovely) and was shocked when from behind the counter of a dingy, dirty and 3rd world appearing auto shop he brought out world class art supplies! At 300 JD each, I got red, yellow, blue, black adn white. Otto was very knowledgeable about the colours.
I started painting- for free. All in, I did over 100- for staff, friends to leave and to stay... it was great fun and I hope to returnto paint. Anyone out there reads this and got one of "my" rocks, I want to thank you, because being able to just paint paint paint was one of the bext parts of my holiday! Most of my rocks have B-UK on them, or are from March 2008. Please look for them and think of what a good time we had!
Ochio rios- I also bought a ring- if you jewelry shop, argue for the lowest, then dont take what they offer, walk away, and come back, with a local person to argue for you. The taxi driver did this, and I got a great price. I told him that his ttip would increase if my price decreased. We got a ring at the shop at the resort too- their prices are astronomical unless you play hard ball.
Theme nights: every night has a theme, and all but one have prized- Fetish night, the only one I am fit to dress up for. It really is fun to dress up, and we saw some amazing costumes. On toga night, one insane man (and I love him!) dressed up completely at a Spartan... sword, spear, armour.... he was UNBELIEVABLE. He even sewed his wife's costume!
I agree about the overload of the quad pool with the girls- they had nice butts, but the music was c-rap, and no one else could participate because the pros took over. They weren't really friendly and didnt seem to mix, but they were nice to watch. One of them tried to do a strip tease on a show night, but didn't fare too well, so I lost some of my bad feelings towards them because she was really heckled.
The Disco--- although it was difficult to get to for me because of the staurs, it was well worth the trip! small, but greata feeling, we had a lot of fun there. UV/ black lights, the slide running through, presence of the Entertainers... it was greart, as was the piano bar. LOVE the kinky karaoke!!! If you don't go to the Disco, you are missing a huge part of the feeling of Hedo 3.
Food- everything was ok, didnt like the whole pig... I mean, I know where pork comes form, but I dont like such a vivid reminder! And eating on the beach was kindda nice but made it hard to see. Staff were great though and would do whatever they could to help. Anytime we asked for something, it was brought out. No matter what we needed, it was found for us. I was impressed. One canadian chef, Joseph, would come out and explain the food, then ingredients, the meals... he was fab! Deborah, the asst manager, took good care of us and always made sure the w/chair fit. Eulaalee and Shauna Kay took care of us too, with lots of drinks and smiles. They were so good to us!
Entertainers- for the most part they were great, but they didnt know how to get people really really incvolved- all they had for incentives were hedobucks, and the only thing hedobucks buy is rum, eum or rum!Would have been good for some variety to have other things to buy. When they had good guests involved, the shows were good. When the guests were shy or not interested (sme of them kept walking off stage and disappearan) the shows suffered- the kids put a lot of work into them so that was a shame.
The Band- they did Reggae, they took requests, and they were friendly- the lead singer Rain (RYAN its pronounced) was a gentle-hearted gifted man- and I wish I could have smuggled home home.
Most fun night:
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The night I got to help with the fashion show and did bondage art on most of the entertainers
Most missed friends-
Gigi and Jennifer and crowd
Francesca
Carla, Donna and Kelly
Tess & Big Guy (they got married!)
Arik &... uhm... they got married too.
Paddy & her hubby- she was the happiest, most cheerful drunk I have ever met!
The lady who gave me her earrings because I liked them
Swede and Dawn (sounds like a 60s rfolk duet!)
Al and Miriam
too many others to mention
We met so many nice people... and having no clothes on, you tend to get clos to people pretty fast!!!
Best Foods
He: anything from the Scotch Bonnet, the french toast
Me: the nachos from the nude pool, the "local" food
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Favorite drinks
the Miami Vice
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Worst drink
The Dirty Banana- all dirt, no banana!
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happy moments
cuddling on the suspended beds near the nude beach
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Scariest moment
the gecko that jumped on me! I hit it off, his tail came off, and kept moving!!!!
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Won't do that again
go to the Japanese restaurant- we were late because a local person was late, he spent the whole meal on his mobile speaking loudly, the chef missed the tempura course, and we were shoved out befre we finished our meal
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Please let me do that again
Feel the warm Jamaican air
Enjoy a "live and let live" atmosphere
wear nothing
Dance til dawn
emjoy the wonderful company of all the peopl we met
Final words?
You have to go, oyu have to love it, and you have to go back. It was the best rest we have had in years, we shed the world for two whole weeks and even though we have been back as long the world hasn;t found us yyet. Thats the real beauty of hedo- the world loses you, stops stressing you, and then forgets to look for you when you get back. Everyone there spoils you, the most you have to remember is your room key, and the sun pours happiness into your soul as you spend precious time with the one you love in one of the most beautiful places on earth.
I am disabled, bbw- if I can fit in, feel good, relax and have a good time, you can. No matter what your size, shape, etc, if you can laugh at yourself, relax, make friends and enjoy a beautiful warm place staffed by friendly people, you will enjoy H3.
Make sure to bring:
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theme night stuff
sun cream and sunburn spray
bug bite stuff
antibiotic ointment
beach slippers/ flipflops
hat/ sunglasses
paracetamol / tylenol
pen and notebook to write down addresses
a cup or buy one from the shop- to keep drinks cold. 20ouz was fine.
bathing costume
a sarong- men or women, these are great
men- a pair of shorts
change of clothes for trip home
one shirt and one pair of shorts/ skirt in case of excursion
deoderant, shampoo, conditioner, you dont need soap or body wash
you dont need towels, or anything else...
well, maybe a few other things- we brought rope, whips, etc and they went to good use!
I will try to post more later, hope thats useful for now!
Beth
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