How do you approach other people to hook up?

[ScubaSteve]

Stacy,

At Hedo it is usually the woman half of the couple that approaches.
From there it can be direct and right to the point, to more small talk, flirting over days before an invitation is extended.
Both work.
To stereotype, most straight guys are some what homophobic and if straight, want to hear that hubby is straight too. It puts us at ease.
(Phew, Sphincter relaxing now.)


As always in the Lifestyle; The ladies have all the power and control.
What are you comfortable with?

Hope this helps,

[ScubaSteve]

redundant

[Scott & Stacy]

Both of us are straight.

[woodylynn]

Generally ive found that if a woman as hot as your Stacy walks up to a sangle guy and says "Hi" he is pretty much going to go along with whatever she tells him to do.

[ScubaSteve]

Photo,

I agree, Stacy doesnt need to fear rejection.

[Scott & Stacy]

I think at some point every woman has that fear of rejection - that said, we would like to approach a black guy.. The rules change ???

[Triplethefun]

Stacy,
To stereotype, most straight guys are some what homophobic and if straight, want to hear that hubby is straight too. It puts us at ease.
(Phew, Sphincter relaxing now.)

guys....weigh in here please...inquiring minds want to know!!!

I don't doubt this statement in the least b/c I've heard it a lot... but I'd love to know why it's okay for a bi girl and a straight girl to be okay playing in the same group, yet if a guy is bi, another straight guy is ill at ease?

We (as lifestylers) make rules when we play, and if a girl tells me she's not bi, then I can find a dozen or so other things to do with her man or my man. don't touch means DON'T TOUCH. it's not a contest to see how far along we can bring someone out of their comfort zone.

Shouldn't these basic rules carry over for the men? Being in the arts, I know enough bis and gays that I can confidently say, if you as a man are neither bi nor gay, another guy who is does not want to be rejected by you. so unless you've done something to piss him off and he's trying to make you uncomfortable, he typically will not make an advance. You don't usually find that guy in the lifestyle.

having stated that....you still have @$$holes who don't play by the rules, but i think the straight guys that don't listen when your gal says no thanks are far worse than the slight chance of some parts bumping when your playing with your girls.

afterall, if you determine in the course of setting up a play date that one of you is bi and the other is not, it's not like the fear of becoming someone's prison b*tch. It's okay to say, I am not bi and I would prefer we avoid male to male contact. Any guy with an ounce of respect will abide by your rules, and if not, you certainly don't want your gal subjected to him then.

Think about all the great women you could miss playing with.

[NickandKitty]

It has worked a few different ways for us in the past as far as approaching people. We have always gone with a group, so we have gotten to know many of the people before we arrive at the resort.
In a couple cases we have planned things out and when we finally meet face to face it becomes readily apparent that it ain't gonna happen. For one reason or another the chemistry that was there on webcam/chat is not in person. No big deal.
The best times we have had is meeting up with these crazy people on the first day of the trip and everyone cutting loose a little- things just start happening. Since the communication has been there all along, it is an easy transition and everyone is comfortable. That is a good time.
The times it has been with people we have just found attractive, we just say hi, introduce ourselves, have a few drinks, and talk. If we talk all night and nothing happens then fine. While playing is a fun thing, it is not the focus of our trips. Worst case we get to hang with people we find attractive. The times that things do happen, we have talked enough for them to know what our rules are, and us to know what their rules are.
Wow this is a much longer reply that I had planned. Happy Saturday all!
Nick (and the sexy Kerry)
PS- I think I will get our "notes" ready for August this afternoon!

[Moorerotic]

guys....weigh in here please...inquiring minds want to know!!!

I don't doubt this statement in the least b/c I've heard it a lot... but I'd love to know why it's okay for a bi girl and a straight girl to be okay playing in the same group, yet if a guy is bi, another straight guy is ill at ease?

We (as lifestylers) make rules when we play, and if a girl tells me she's not bi, then I can find a dozen or so other things to do with her man or my man. don't touch means DON'T TOUCH. it's not a contest to see how far along we can bring someone out of their comfort zone.

Shouldn't these basic rules carry over for the men? Being in the arts, I know enough bis and gays that I can confidently say, if you as a man are neither bi nor gay, another guy who is does not want to be rejected by you. so unless you've done something to piss him off and he's trying to make you uncomfortable, he typically will not make an advance. You don't usually find that guy in the lifestyle.

having stated that....you still have @$$holes who don't play by the rules, but i think the straight guys that don't listen when your gal says no thanks are far worse than the slight chance of some parts bumping when your playing with your girls.

afterall, if you determine in the course of setting up a play date that one of you is bi and the other is not, it's not like the fear of becoming someone's prison b*tch. It's okay to say, I am not bi and I would prefer we avoid male to male contact. Any guy with an ounce of respect will abide by your rules, and if not, you certainly don't want your gal subjected to him then.

Think about all the great women you could miss playing with.

No, the rules don't carry over for men. Sexuality is one of the most unequal aspects of human existence. The "good for the goose, good for the gander" logic is fine for issues like pay and insurance, but when it comes to sex that's complete nonsense. Our brains are different, our bodies are different and the entire sexual experience is vastly different for men and women. Anyone who has an equal amount of worry when their teenage daughter goes on a date as when their teenage son does is an idiot.

Equality between men and women should exist for almost every aspect of life, but basic biology guarantees that equality will never exist in sexuality.

Guys aren't worried about a dick accidentally ending up in their ass or mouth, and most aren't worried being overpowered and raped. They do worry that the bi guy is a disease vector. They're protecting their women more than anything else.

[Moorerotic]

The NickandKerry method is excellent.

The "Hello, we're Dagwood and Blondie, and we do this, this, and this, but not that and that" method takes a lot of fun out of the process, especially for the women.

The "we do and we don't" should flow naturally out of the conversation, and shouldn't be stated like legal copy at the end of a drug commercial.

[Just Doc]

Moore-
I think you're spot on with those last two posts. Couldn't agree more.
Doc

[NickandKitty]

Hear that babe? we have a "method"! LOL- thanks Moorerotic- it is nice to get positive feedback on stuff here!
Nick (and the steamy Kerry)tm

[ugacouple1]

Just wear something sexy and let her flirt!

[Scott & Stacy]

That said....what's the proper way so that we don't offend wnyone?

[crabbyvixen]

i just read your message and it made my day....that is something i would say in a post......sooooooooooooo funny...maybe i read it a few months late.....still it made my day!!! LOLOLOLOLOL still LOLOLOLOL THANKS!