July 26, Skipping the Airport stuff as the flight there was a piece of cake, the usual hurry up and wait. The captain however was one of the most informative I have encountered on an Air Jamaica flight. He gave us a briefing at every chance he could on where we where and what was to see.
Arrive Mo Bay: Again hurry up and wait, seamless going through the customs and immigration. Walk to the SuperClubs lounge and check in, this is the dreaded moment, do we have a room at the resort? Are they booked to capacity? "No problems Mon" comes the reply. "Ya Mon" blue skies all around. Decide to go outside and feel the heat so to speak outside of the airport where the buses are. Not too bad, we were there last year at the same time and it was frikkin hot, something about Jamaica in July I guess! Immediately I get pelted with that "Buffet" guy who’s tired voice is telling me about some cheeseburger somewhere. His presence is everywhere, at the airport, at the departure concourse, Mo Bay, even on a blender. Well I guess if you have to fuel that seaplane he has at today’s prices you gotta do what you gotta do. I grab my first Red Stripe, (Always seems to taste better there) and enjoy.
Head back to the lounge and get on the bus. I take my usual spot at the nose gunners position next to the driver and K sits and enjoys the ride. I make the suggestion to stop at the "Seafood Palace" outside Falmouth as the woman who ran the establishment we have come to know over the years. He asks me her name and I tell him and he says she passed away in May. Shocked and saddened, I ask him to stop there for a moment so we may pay our respects to the family.
We arrive at the resort. Room not ready, see George the bell captain, again nice to see him, I am gonna be depending on that guy. We go to the main bar, resort is dead, very quiet. I make the necessary inquiries into the status of our room and come to find out, there were actually plenty of rooms. There is a woman at the check in who just doesn’t want to seem know the answers to anything. We have dealt with her before, and looking back I think I am on to something, what? I'm not sure but I honestly don’t think she cared about anything, oh well. Took matters into my own hands and we got our room, where we needed.
Hit the nude pool, ahhh.. the place is jumpin’, drop the drawers and dive in. We see a couple of people we have met over the years and go over and say hello. Needless to say we hung out with them the entire time. Kept drinking Rum Punches, which I have recently came to love and enjoy. We meet a couple of locals at the fountain and these 2 guys were the funniest Jamaicans I think we met. We started playing Jamaican Trivia and they were dumbfounded at what I knew as well as the patois I can interpret. They name me a "JAMERICAN". Good people, we had a blast. The sun is setting and the drinks were taking effect, so we stayed until dark and enjoyed ourselves. I give this day a 10. Head back to the room after eating and collapse from the travel, drinks, and whatever else we did.
Sunday and Monday were kind of a blur, however on a lighter note I did win a bottle of Rum, for the HEDO trivia contest and got Delroy the groundskeeper to get me a coconut which he gladly did, he cut the top off, I poured some into 2 glasses and drank it down, then I added some rum punch to it and walked around the pool with it. We went to Munasan that night with some friends and enjoyed it, word of advice, get "EVERYTHING", there is nothing not good there. Back to the main bar for some more drinkin’ then off to bed. These days were 9's.
Tuesday morning, 7:15 am. I had planned a trip to the other side of the island to Rick’s cafe, Hedo 2 Negril, and Mo Bay.
The excursion listed is called "Negril Sunset" it was 160 bux and left on Wed and Sat. The 2 days we couldn’t do it. So again taking matters into my own hands I decided, with the help of a local, we garner a cabbie and off we go. It was hot that day, and we kept the windows down the whole time. Love the smell of the fires and hills around there. Anyway, I tell him I wanted to go "yardie" (native) and so we did. We stopped when we wanted, ate when we wanted and just generally enjoyed the scenery to our destination. Jamaica is really a beautiful country. I highly recommend getting away from the tourist traps and seeing it for what it is. We go through Mo Bay, look babe, there’s a Harley store, and the Jamaican Bobsled Cafe, and there’s that "fins up" guy again. We blast through Mo Bay and head out of town. Busy place. We pass Round Hill estate, quite a place I hear, lotsa celebrities go there. We go through several more towns and stop on occasion and check the sights. We arrive in Negril. Ummm... Don’t know what to think, very touristy, lots of businesses, I don’t know it felt like any resort town to me. Wasn’t a fan. We get to HEDO 2. Ask if we can hang out for a while as we were staying at HEDO 3 and they hemmed and hawed, eventually the Manager couldn’t make it happen, apparently we were supposed to "call", I mean they charge people for a day pass there like 70 dollars if you come from another resort such as Sandals etc. But we were coming from the sister resort, what gives? We opted for the tour of the joint.
Now I am not a 5 star resort kinda guy, and I can pretty much sleep anywhere, but what the hell was with the rooms there? Dark, small, showers, gray, did I mention small? I don’t think I am gonna pay 50-60 dollars more a night for that place. The resort seemed lush and green and there were nooks and crannies everywhere. Nice layout etc. Nude pool was nice, we liked the beach idea etc. As our tour guide was taking us around there were signs and totem poles and rocks and everything seemed labeled with a name or date or something. I felt like I walked into someone’s house there. The vibe seemed to me that if you weren’t one of them you weren’t of them. Unlike at H3 everybody seemed happy to wave at the tour and say hello, clothes or no clothes, but at H2 like I said I don’t know, just seemed different and proprietary. Just my thought. We grab a rum punch at the main bar at the end of the tour and skidaddle. See ya later H2.
Off now to the center of 7 mile beach to a place called the Negril Tree House hotel, recommended by our cab driver. Wow what a place, the beach I mean. The stories and pictures were true. It really was paradise. If I was Colombus I would have never have left Jamaica. The water, clear as crystal, turquoise and sapphire. Absolutely beautiful. The sand was like powered sugar. Really a nice place. So we decided to take a walk along the beach and take some photos etc. There were stingrays in the water and would come up to you and investigate and leave, minding their own business. Hustlers everywhere, and lots of "farmers". We drank more and ate jerk chicken on coco bread. Awesome. We hang out for a while and chill.
We garner our few belongings and head to Ricks Cafe. I have heard about this place and wanted to see what all the hub bub was about. We pull into the parking lot and make our way in, not 3 feet into the main entrance we get accosted by a diver asking for money to jump off the cliff. STRIKE 1. We just got there and already asking for money at what I assumed to be a classy joint. We are really in awe as to the colors of the sea, truly magnificent scenery. The cafe itself is well built and clean, looks very nice and well kept. They were preparing for a celebrities wedding when we were there, but didn’t get a name. I proceeded to muster up some courage to go diving and jumping off the cliffs and went ahead and did it. Good fun, the water was really remarkable, must have been about 50 or 60 feet deep, with big boulders on top of a white sand bottom. The tide was a bit rough though, but I suppose so due to the mouth of the caves opening to the sea.
So I am done with diving and decided to go out to a finger of land beyond where the divers are diving and take some pictures, I go out the main gate make a right, pass a jerk hut and walk down a path. There I see the divers hanging out around a bench and just chillin, I get asked for money, I ignore them and continue to walk to the edge of the cliffs. Awesome sight, terrific scenery. I turn around to applause and yelling, 2 divers are getting ready to dive in tandem off the same cliff I am on. They dive, I just gotta pic in, as I started to head back one of the divers climbed up the cliff and was walking parallel to me and muttered a derogatory term in patois, I asked "Oo u callin a #&*@#"? He turned to me and turned white, I swear, then he went on a rant and rave about he got "bills to pay and make em belly full" STRIKE 2 I just happened to be in the wrong place taking a crappy missed shot of a diver who didn’t get a tip from someone on the other side of the cliff, that asked him to dive, who didn’t think I could understand patois! Gettin annoyed at "Ricks Cafe" then we decided to get the overpriced sampler to tide us over, it was pretty good but was on Jamaican time, had to ask our server 3 times, it shouldn’t take 37 mins to deliver something so small and probably prepared, 37 mins you say? I love timing things. So we grow tired of Ricks Cafe, am I glad we came? Yes, will we go back? No. So we pay in US mind you due to that was the price on the menus in US, and get a crap load of Jamaican dollars back. Sigh. They will not give back US if you pay US and the prices are in US. STRIKE 3. And that’s that.
We relay our story to our cabbie and even he was understandably upset with the way we were treated. Either way we settle into a nice enjoyable ride back to the resort. We stop in at Mo Bay for a drink and take a few shots and hit the road. The ride at dusk was nice, cool air, beautiful sunset, waving to everybody, which everybody waved back with a smile. Nice journey home. We get to the room get cleaned up and head over to dinner, aww what the heck? "Yo security can we go to the Jerk hut outside the resort for dinner"? Startled looks all around. "ya Mon, came the reply, let me get my dog" Hmmm, is this a good idea? He says his name is Rambo, and don’t look at him or he'll tear you a new ass! I mind my own business and the three of us start to walk. We cross the street to the bar and get some stewed jerk and rice, couple of red stripes and enjoy the locals, even had a cop stop by on his motorcycle, nice place. Again I got a crap load of Jamaican dollars back so i started buying rounds to lessen the pain. I did my best and she couldn’t exchange it. Movin’ on. We head back to the resort at about 12 or so and hit the disco for pajama night, had a blast dancin’, workin’ up a sweat, etc. Good fun. Off to the pool to cool down, "Ya Mon" came the mellow words as I sank into the pool with a Rum Punch in my hand made by the loving Tavidah, "Jah Bless You" my dear.
Last day there, tried to get a little "crazy" on me, the sun was hot that day. Whew, Breezes glass bottom boat gets real close and I just stand there "waving" back to them, I think they wanted to come over to our resort. Stay at pool all day, get lunch made by Johnny, good man, he seems to take care with every step involved in feeding my drunk ass. "Jah Bless" Johnny. Back to the room, pack up get ready for the dreaded call to go to the lobby, "BOO leavin Hedotree" "Hooray 1 day closer to coming back next year"! Come next morning we are hoping to get to the nude pool till 12:40 when we have to be at the bus, no go. Apparently someone made too much uh-oh and decided to turn the pool into a reservoir and it was closed. NICE....That’s the going away present we got. Off to the QUAD, stayed there until time to leave. Last few Rum Punches, said our goodbyes and we were off.
About the airport and departing, there are no status boards of departing flights, at checkin’, just a bunch of LCD monitors with Air Jamaica’s logo on it. Every plane was late, from us being 3 hours to 6 hours to overnight to 2 days. Guess they don’t want you to know that so you can sit in the departure lounge with that "Cheesyburger" guy again and spend your last dollars on $9.00 Dominoes personal pizzas like we did. All in all a great trip, this was our 4th time there and we can’t wait to get back. We are glad we saw the things we did and experienced them first hand, not by anybody’s account, nor should you take this trip report to heart. It is merely our experiences laid out as they happened. "Jah Bless One and All" pornstar1360
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Trip 4 H2 July 31 - Aug 7, 2011 
Can't Wait To Go HOME
Originally Posted by pornstar1360
MitandAlmostIrish
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