Hedonism III Trip Report
August 2-9, 2009
Moe and Mo
Written by Mo (aka Monica- the wordy one). Settle down, get a cool drink, a snack, and hopefully enjoy!
Before I start, I’d better get all of the logistics out of the way. The resort was pretty full, with a number of groups, most prevalent being the AWOL group, who really kept the resort rocking! The food was pretty good- shout out to Chef John at the nude pool! I think I ate more than my fair share of deep fried nachos with cheese sauce and chicken, crab nachos, and fries! His assistant was also very sweet and was a quick study. Unfortunately, the service in pretty much all of the dining areas was quite slow, and the omelette line was pretty ridiculous most mornings. I gave up on more than a few days and just ate hard-boiled eggs. The rooms are definitely showing their age, but are kept clean enough, and we had hot water every day except for one day. The towel program worked smoothly with no complaints, and the GM, Mr. Parrish sought us out on our last day to check in and make sure that we had no complaints. For those who are interested, all of the gym equipment worked except for one treadmill, and in the mornings, things actually got pretty crowded. I was the guest aerobics instructor for the week, and my water aerobics class was VERY well attended every day. Anyway, all that being said, onto the trip report!
Our trip started uneventfully enough, with smooth flights and an on-time arrival. However, when we arrived at MBJ and went to the Superclubs desk, we were told that we had been bumped to Starfish Trelawny (the family resort). We were quite upset, but no amount of arguing, begging, pouting, or negotiating could get them to reconsider or at least bump us to Breezes or GL Braco. I decided that we should get a cab and just go ahead to Hedo3 to see if we could work it out when we arrived. After talking to a taxi driver, another Superclubs rep said that he could get us to H3 and checked in for $100. He took us back to the desk...and it was all a practical joke! Those guys were quite the actors, because they didn't break character or crack a smile the entire time, but definitely had a good laugh at our expense once the joke was revealed. I thought Moe was going to blow a gasket, and he admitted that he felt his blood pressure rising throughout the ordeal. Our friends Rick & Ivy from AWOL had apparently arranged for the joke to be played on us! (yes Rick, we know, it wasn’t your idea!) We were too relieved too even be mad about it. Anyway, they were there waiting for us in the lobby, and we tried to pretend like nothing had even happened, but they busted us and knew we were lying. We all shared a few laughs over it, though.
For the most part, I relaxed for most of the week. I worked out in the morning for about 45 minutes, ate breakfast, then went and taught water aerobics- which was a BIG hit. About 15 people participated every day. On Friday, the nude pool was closed in the morning for cleaning, and people were bothering me all day about the class. “Monica, when are you teaching” “Aren’t you teaching today?” It was crazy how popular the class had become. After class, for the first few days, I'd usually relax around the pool, read, talk to people, have a few drinks, smoke, then get lunch at the nude grill at about 3, take a nap till 6 or 7, then find my husband, Moe, and get ready for dinner at about 9, then do the piano bar and disco. We took it easy on a couple of nights and didn’t go out at all. A few nights, we'd go to the nude pool after the disco, although Moe went on to the nude pool on his own a couple of nights. On the first night, Moe passed out after dinner, so I went to the disco on my own. After Wed or so, I switched the routine so I ate lunch at about 4, then didn't take a nap until about 6 when Moe came in. We'd stay in bed till about 10, then get dressed, get a drink, then go to either the piano bar or disco until the midnight buffet opened then eat, head back to the disco for a little bit, then maybe to the nude pool for awhile or off to bed. Rick & Ivy were always so sweet to include us in their dinner reservations whenever we happened to be up and about at dinner time and spotted them.
There were a good number of groups there, so the resort was pretty busy. The AWOL group was definitely the most prevalent and visible. They were almost 100 members deep and really livened up the resort. They were friendly, loud, crazy, and “adopted” anyone who expressed interest in joining them. They had all kinds of goodies for their group members, and really made sure that everyone was having a good time, whether they were part of their group or not. There was another group called "One Love" there as well. A few of their members ventured to the nude side, but most of them stayed in the quad, although some of them got naked from time to time. They were friendly enough, and definitely seemed to be having a good time, but they tended to mostly socialize with each other rather than making too much of an effort to get to know any of the other guests very well. Their group leader, however, was awesome! He was a big guy from DC, and he seemed to evenly split his time between hanging with his group in the quad and meeting other people on the nude side and throughout the resort. He always had a smile on his face and was really friendly and welcoming.
We did see one rather ugly incident there, however. During the “Booty Shaking Contest” at the quad, a bigger sized girl participated. We know her, and she can really dance- she might as well be Jamaican, because she knows all the moves and can even do splits. Anyway, all of the AWOL people cheered for her, and she won. Afterwards, a few girls rather loudly began complaining about it, saying that people only cheered for her because they felt sorry for her, and she got really upset and stormed off, crying. Moe went and talked to her and calmed her down. It was really uncalled for, and definitely not what the Hedo spirit is all about.
The Wild Women were there too, and always very nice, but also stayed to themselves for the most part. One day they had a bonfire party on the beach complete with fire dancers. Their group leader is also a friend of ours, and she was such a sweetie and invited us to their events. My friend Mitzy came with her man, and they seemed to have a good time as well. Mitzy got wild and crazy on a few days after drinking a little too much. She was definitely a hoot! I didn't get to socialize with them as much as I would have liked, though.
The JA Booze Crew group began arriving on Friday, and we’re friends with some of their members as well, who are equally wild and crazy and LOVE the Philadelphia Eagles. Whenever we heard the cry of "Go Eagles!" we knew they were nearby. I’m not sure what their total numbers were, but they looked like they were well on their way to the beginnings of a good time by the time we left. One of their members caused quite a ruckus after he was asked to stop having sex in public by one of the security guards. Not only did he complain to the GM, but he made a big, booming announcement at breakfast that “The rule is, NO SEX IN PUBLIC!! I just spoke to the GM, and he said that’s the rule, so all of y’all, stop having sex in public!” Of course, everyone kind of laughed him off, but he was quite upset about the “selective enforcement” of the no open sex rule and felt like he had been discriminated against because he was older.
I'm sure you want to know if there were any interesting stories. Of course! First- a really scary experience. On Tuesday, I was taking my afternoon nap and Moe went to the Scotch Bonnet/Reggae Cafe with some folks. He apparently started choking on a piece of jerk pork and was choking for a little while before someone realized what was happening and one of the guests, a very sweet guy from AWOL, gave him the heimlech maneuver and essentially saved him! Moe was really shaken up for the rest of the day. When he came back to the room, I was still sleeping and he sort of told me what happened but then didn’t want to talk about it, so I didn’t get the full story until later that day. Thank you SO much “D” for saving my Pookie’s life!
Another medical story- I broke out in a rash starting on Wed. At first, I thought it was just from the heat/sun, but it started spreading, and by Friday, it was all over my body from my neck to my feet! Luckily, it wasn’t too itchy- or maybe it was all of the booze and smoke dulling my senses. The nurse on property just gave me Benadryl, which didn’t really help matters, and by Saturday, I was feeling quite ugly. On Saturday, some friends who are a doctor/nurse couple arrived and looked at me and said immediately that it was some sort of allergic reaction. Between them and Michelle LaPorte, before I knew it, they had called the pharmacy, and we all took a bus there and picked up an injectable steroid. They marched into the nurse's station at Hedo and gave me a shot of it- all before they had even gotten their room! That is Hedo hospitality at it’s finest! They gave me some Zertec and hydrocortisone and even came to check on me that evening. It had improved by that night and while it is still not 100% better, it is much improved.
There were definitely lots of hot women and men on the resort, so lots of eye candy was to be found! There weren’t many singles, but there were a few (both guys and girls), and toward the end of the week, more singles seemed to trickle in. There was even a family- mom, dad, 18 year-old, son, and son’s best friend!
We made lots of new friends, from everywhere from England, to Australia, to Chile, to Madrid! We had so many laughs, and got lots of compliments. One guy at the nude hot tub told us that when he and his wife saw me and Moe earlier that day, they were convinced that we had to be porn stars! I didn't know whether to take that as a compliment at first- I’ve seen some pretty janky porn stars. We decided to take it as a compliment and assume that he meant high- end porn, lol. Then the guy started calling Moe "Five Dollar Foot Long" like in the Subway commercials.
This was overall a much more relaxing Hedo trip for us (aside from those little bumps in the road) than others, but definitely a good time. We were able to reconnect with old friends, meet lots of new friends, party, eat, drink, dance, and even rest and relax. From boobie hugs, to booty shaking, there is something for everyone. For all of our talk of perhaps taking next year off, we both know that there is no vacation like a Hedo vacation, and AWOL is certainly the crew with whom to party like rock stars! Too many to name, but definitely big shout outs to Rick & Ivy, Nick & Kerry, HOTINHOTLANTA, tSquared, the “Cajun Crew” BYQSasha, B&E (can't remember your screen name) and everyone else we may have forgotten in name, but certainly not in spirit!
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Next Trip: Hedo II, 7/23 to 7/30, 2016
Co-Hosts of kitten + angel's 15th Annual Spring Fling April 9th - 16th, 2022 (We will be onsite 4/7/22 - 4/18/22) 
Originally Posted by Black Vulcan
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